Wearing a Weave in 2024 After 9 Years!

Are we being honest about our choices? 

I had a "ha ha" moment on the plane. Many people want their natural hair to behave like a curly extension or a make-believe Afro weave or wig!

As I sat on the plane pondering the advantages and disadvantages of wearing a weave, something struck me hard! It was loud! And it was clear!!! Many people are not being completely honest about why they wear weaves.

I’m not here to chastise anybody. But I am in the business of helping and challenging women to question their over-reliance on weaves, wigs, and braids. 

Why do you wear a wig, weave, or braids most of the time?

My hope is that those who are open enough will question their motives, and if they are prepared to be honest, they will admit the truth — now, the truth may vary from person to person. 

Some may genuinely use weaves, wigs, and braids as a fun option to change things up, perhaps even to give their hair a rest from handling! 

While others, many others, may find that they are indeed relying on wigs or weaves to fit into beauty standards ( consciously or unconsciously) , or even to avoid taking responsibility for their hair because they just don’t know how to handle it, or sadly, because they don’t like their hair.

The Influence of Beauty Standards on Hair Choices

Black women who wear weaves and wigs consistently  hate being told that they want to look or be white! Personally I think this assertion is an overly simplistic and nonsensical analysis of the issue. 

Yet, I cannot deny the evidence that suggests our choice of weave texture often mimics European beauty standards.

Many people say they just want the ease of wearing a weave or wig. 

Some say they are protecting their hair (I don’t even think they understand that most times their hair needs protection from the poorly installed weaves and braids!). 

I digress... but the truth is, if weaves or wigs had nothing to do with beauty standards, then we’d see more women matching their weaves or wigs with their own natural texture. Instead we see, too often, too many Black women choosing European textures.. why? 

Because for decades we have been told, even by those who love us, that our hair is not quite right. Hair discrimination exists. My friend list her job because of it. A rude awakening to the hostility we will face in the work environment. We were 19 or 20 at university. The company that fired her was Specsaver ( she won in the employment tribunal). Imagine what that experience does to a young person’s fragile confidence.  

We were conditioned by the imagery we saw on TV, magazines, social media, and by wildly famous celebrities. 

Weaves and Maintenance: The Hidden Truth

As I washed my weave yesterday with relatively more ease, I began to remember what my life was like when I wore weaves almost exclusively. 

I got into the shower and just ran water on my head. 

No detangling prior to stepping into the shower! Whoop whoop!!!

My wash day experience with a weave was interesting! There was no difference in the conditioning process. I conditioned with Chief, exactly as I would my own hair! 

Except for one additional step — I brushed the weave with a brush! Okay, I wouldn’t have done this with my own hair, but it took two minutes! I was told this would help define the curls on rinse-out. It did.

After rinsing out Chief, I applied a setting cream and just left it to air dry! This could never be my Afro!

On rinsing out a deep conditioner, I would have to add a superb leave-in conditioner like Ododo and a sealant oil like Khalila oil. 

Leaving it to air dry without putting it in a stretched style like two-strand twists, flat twists, or cornrows would have been a recipe for tangles galore. But once in my desired twists, that’s me done for the week! No washing in between!

I washed my weave after a week because I had to keep spritzing and adding a curl product to keep it looking good! It needed daily manipulation and it shed a fair bit! And there lies the deepening realisation I had! A weave is not easier to maintain on a daily basis! 

It requires maintenance daily! 

But strangely, we are prepared to accept this daily ritual for fake hair, yet all over Instagram, people complain about the high maintenance of natural hair. Why?

Here is what I think... I think subconsciously we know that the effort we put into a weave or wig will be rewarded with an aesthetic that conforms to beauty standards that continuously whisper to us even when we aren’t talking to it. It whispers on TV, in magazines, the influencers we love whisper it, some of our parents whisper — no, they scream it! 

Then we have our friends who are joyously moving through the world with their weaves, wigs, and waist-length braids, who seem perplexed that we are now breaking ranks from the norm. 

And although no one is saying anything, you feel the intense scrutiny and judgement, and the real human fear that you may no longer be part of the gang.

As a Black woman, god darn it, it is easier to wear a weave and a wig because there are too many battles to fight. There is no Shane in wanting to fit in. 

But sometimes hitting in comes at a high cost - damaged scalp and hair! easier options are too often false security.

Beauty Standards and the Impact on Afro-Textured Hair

Let’s put politics aside. What I know now is that even when the hair looks like Afro-textured hair, it still does not behave like the type of Afro hair I have! 

The weave I have can pass off as my hair, but it doesn’t shrink, and the effort to get the curls to pop is minimal! Tangles are minimal too! It’s a make-believe Afro! Actually, it’s curly hair! 

And for those discerning enough, you’ll realise that sadly many brands purporting to cater to the needs of Afro-textured hair are weirdly passing off variations of curly hair as Afro-textured hair! You see it in their marketing materials, their adverts, and their Instagram pages. 

And it is problematic! It is problematic because some Black women expect their own hair to behave like a curly weave, compounded by these internalised visuals from social media on what healthy Afro-textured hair looks like.

Conclusion

What I see so clearly now is that many want their real natural hair to behave like the curly hair I have on my head. 

Curly hair can go big, curly hair can have a bit of frizz, and it can even be styled like an Afro, but crucially, the handling and response to products are wildly different! This hair doesn’t shrink! The curls pop with ease! The curl pattern is lust after! It can look like an Afro but it’s not. 

And crucially, it is still closer to the texture we have been conditioned to believe sits at the pinnacle.

If you really want to test your relationship with yourself, your hair, and beauty standards, try going without a weave, wig, or even braids for just three months! Can you do it?

Let’s have your thoughts below.