Titilolami’s introduction ;
Imagine you had a daughter with beautiful long texturized hair. Her hair is stunning. But you know that the chemicals in relaxers that are used to texturize hair are not the best for her hair’s long term health and her overall health. After a while, you are confronted with a choice. A tough choice. Can you make the choice even in the face of zero support?
Read about Debbie’s choice today and the backlash she received from family, friends and those in the natural hair movement.
Debbie’s story
My daughter was just over 2yrs old when her hair was first texturized. She was born with a full head of hair and it was really thick. I found it physically and emotionally draining to maintain. She would cry nonstop throughout washing and styling. I made the decision to cut her hair and wait until she was older to grow it. The barber we went to refused to cut it and sent us to the salon next door where the stylist recommended a texturizer.
texturised hair
Life was easier and her hair thrived and grew but over the years there was more information on natural hair and maintenance. I went natural myself and felt like I'd got the hang of it. I started to feel guilty about continuing to use a chemical on my child’s head. I read about the irreparable damage it could cause a child. I felt like I was letting her down by not appreciating her beautiful hair in its natural state. Just before her 7th birthday I took the plunge and gave her the big chop.
I soon became overwhelmed with maintaining her hair. Her hair texture was different from mine so what worked for me didn't work for her. We both began to dread wash days and I began to think I'd made a mistake with the big chop. I'd watched YouTube videos but felt I needed support from parents who were in the same position.
I joined one of the biggest natural hair communities on Facebook and asked for help. I posted a before and after picture and the response was unbelievable.
Before And After
"You're wicked, why would you cut her hair? you're jealous of her hair". Some recommended I texturized it. Someone even said she is losing weight because of the hair cut. Imagine! I was shocked! I mean this was a natural hair page, whose sole purpose was to promote and provide support to people with natural hair.
The comments made me feel worse and I felt like I’d made a mistake but there was no going back. Come to think about it now, family and friends reacted the same way. Because her hair had been really long, friends and family used to question why I'd cut it too. It seemed as if was only acceptable to go natural if your hair was unhealthy and damaged.
But I’m glad I did the big chop now, both my daughter and I have a newfound appreciation for our natural beauty. I still wouldn't say it's totally easy but with the right support and knowledge courtesy of @Oribytiti we've fallen into a routine that works for us.
Back to natural !!